[ninawilliam89]

Beautiful Woman - Funniest jokes in the world

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. 
 
All his professionallism goes right out the window...
 
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
 
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
 
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies. He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off.  The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks,
 
"Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
 
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having s*x with her. 
 
He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?" She replies,
 
"Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

[Elle Hall]

Dirty Women Jokes -  Dirty Jokes


A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says,

“Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.”

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,

“What is your occupation?”

The woman replies, “I’m a whore.”

The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work.

That is much too crass.

Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman,

“Ok, I’m a prostitute.”

“No, that is still too crude. Try again.”

They both think for a minute, then the woman states,

“I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks,

“What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”

“Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says,

“Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.”

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,

“What is your occupation?”

The woman replies, “I’m a whore.”

The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work.

That is much too crass.

Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman,

“Ok, I’m a prostitute.”

“No, that is still too crude. Try again.”

They both think for a minute, then the woman states,

“I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks,

“What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”

“Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”

[jackmarco]

hahaha, It's so funny. where did you get this story?

[braveluke]

Other for you guys
Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.

[brentclark2003]

I think I've finally read every joke here and am not worried that these will be duplicates:

1] Q: What's an anagram of “Banach-Tarski”?

A: “Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski”.

2] Q: Why can't most mathematicians prove the unsolvability in radicals of the quintic polynomial?

A: Because they aren't Abel.

3] Q: What has a binary operation, an identity element, the inverse property, but only has associativity during the full moon?

A: A Moufang loup garou.

4] Q: Why did the topologists insist that their relationship had lasted "up to and including the point of the breakup"?
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